A College Graduate //

44 days.

I’ve waited practically my whole life for this to come.

In elementary school we can hardly wait to move on to middle school because it will be so much cooler. Once we get to middle school we realize it isn’t as fun as they said it would be and we can’t wait for high school because it will definitely be so much cooler. To our surprise, high school isn’t always what it’s cracked up to be either.

So we wait and wait for college because we will have so much freedom.

Now here I am, 44 days away from true freedom and I am nervous as hell.

While on the one hand I am nervous and fearful of the future, on the other hand I am so excited and anxious for my life to begin.

“Be fearless in the pursuit of what sets your soul on fire.”

So I’m turning fear into faith and trusting that there is a plan for me.

College was the hardest 4 years of my life. I lost friends and made friends. I built relationships just to tear them down. I laughed until I cried. I cried until I laughed. I got angry. So so angry. I got hurt and I hurt. I found my passions and I learned what didn’t work for me. I removed toxic people and things from my life and became more spiritually connected to nature in ways I didn’t even know I needed. I met my best friend who gets me like no one else does. I ended relationships because I was losing myself and I ended up meeting the man of my dreams when I wasn’t even looking for him. I did some soul-searching and figured out who I want to be as a person. I tried new things and learned that adventure is a necessary part of my life.

I wanted to give up. So many times I cried and screamed and threw my books on the floor because I just didn’t want to do it anymore. I didn’t want to write a single sentence more. I didn’t want to flip another page in the textbook. I didn’t want to log into Blackboard for the rest of my life.

But I did it anyway. I knew that not only was my family depending on me, but I knew that I was depending on me.

My future was depending on me.

So here I am. 44 days away from “adulting” and I have no idea what I’m going to do. But I’m trusting in the plan and believing that my purpose is leading me to bigger and better things.

Here’s to being a big kid, y’all.

“I don’t know what lies around the bend, but I’m going to believe that the best does.”   -L.M. Montgomery

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